It’s the morning after the night before and all 20 Premier League clubs will awake with sore heads as they survey the wreckage of a crazy transfer deadline day party. While some clubs got lucky (Hull City ended up with a threesome) others have been nervously checking their bank statements and finding out they’ve spent £34m on David Luiz.
But the party could have been even crazier than it was, according to the reports and recriminations emerging from today’s papers and media outlets.
As for the player’s so-called “representatives”, we can only assume that was just Sturridge in sunglasses and a wig desperately trying to escape the clutches of Jurgen Klopp.
Ironically, it was the player Klopp was actively trying to jettison, Mamadou Sakho, who insisted on clinging on to his manager for dear life. The Mirror says the French defender rejected moves to Stoke, West Brom and Besiktas and is set to spend the rest of the season playing FIFA 17 - because his angry manager certainly won’t be selecting him for proper football for a while.
Spurs reportedly made a deadline day enquiry for the player they first tried to sign from Southampton two years ago, but Jose Mourinho apparently told the midfielder he “remained in his first-team plans” at Old Trafford. Wonder if he added “in the Europa League”.
Chelsea may have bagged the eyebrow-raising double signing of Luiz and Marcos Alonso but they missed out on Inter’s Marcelo Brozovic, who opted to sign a new contract with the Italian club despite them offering him less money than the Blues (Goal).
Other thwarted deals included Axel Witsel’s move from Zenit St Petersburg to Juventus (Gazzetta dello Sport), Mathieu Debuchy’s proposed switch from Arsenal to Espanyol (Squawka) and Yaya Sanogo’s transfer from the Emirates to Leeds (Sun), which was blocked because Arsene Wenger evidently believes that this is the year when the French striker finally becomes the new Thierry Henry, but better.